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Posting is tiring. And I'm too lazy to do it.
But this is a shoutout to anyone who doesn't already watch the most awesome lawyer show on Tele/Cable/whatever (torrent).
WATCH BOSTON LEGAL!
:D
(Denny Crane's a self-obsessed obnoxiously good lawyer ^^)
"So many questions. One at a time, I'm only human. Actually I'm not, I'm Denny Crane"
You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."
Denny: Alan, I heard that you asked Shirley to be part of your dream team. Why her and not me?
Alan: Shirley has breasts; ours are just beginning to develop.
(THIS LAST ONE IS NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY)
(:
Everyone's falling sick, i swear there's something going around :S
But this is a shoutout to anyone who doesn't already watch the most awesome lawyer show on Tele/Cable/whatever (torrent).
WATCH BOSTON LEGAL!
:D
(Denny Crane's a self-obsessed obnoxiously good lawyer ^^)
"So many questions. One at a time, I'm only human. Actually I'm not, I'm Denny Crane"
You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."
Denny: Alan, I heard that you asked Shirley to be part of your dream team. Why her and not me?
Alan: Shirley has breasts; ours are just beginning to develop.
(THIS LAST ONE IS NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY)
Denny Crane: Crane comes before Schmidt.
Shirley Schmidt: You refer of course to when we were intimate.
Shirley Schmidt: You refer of course to when we were intimate.
(:
Everyone's falling sick, i swear there's something going around :S
(the usual) Crazy stuff happened in school today, unusual but usual in my class (:
Many many uhh...piling of bodies, locking in cupboards, fighting, and much more.
Hehe.
I officially like Fourskin ^^ nice stuff from there
Anyway, for all .15s, check facebook for the vids :D
Movie checklist has been updated to...lots.
21st May: Der Baader Meinhof Komplex (German show, looks interesting)
28th May: Terminator Salvation, Monsters VS Aliens
Total amount of $$ required: $20 - $24
4th June: Up (Cartoon, not too sure about this but reviews are good, so it'll prob be decent o.O )
11th June: State of Play, Drag Me to Hell, Fighting (looks like a spas storyline with cool fight scenes), Taking of Pelham 123 (MUST WATCH)
25th June: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
Total amount of $$ required: $40 - $50
2nd July: Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinos (WHOO SID!), Duplicity
9th July: Public Enemies
16th July: Harry Potter & the Half-Blood prince (this one is a perhaps, don't mind but not too keen (: )
Total amount of $$ required: $28 - $40
~toj
An old man was sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbour's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire."
Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"
Boy says "Gonna catch some chickens."
Old man yells "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it. Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.
Old man yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape."
Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"
Boy says back "Gonna catch me some ducks."
Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!"
Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it. Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. Old man says "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
Boy says "It's a pussy willow.
Old man says "Wait up.... I'll get my hat."
_____________________
*"Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."
Jack thinks about it silently, then says, "Well, the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."
A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being painful. To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll and then returned to his pants.
His girlfriend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"
With his eyes watering, Jack replied, "Well, I guess so, but I don't think I can fit another roll up my a*s."
_____________________
*A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little
boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa,
I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”
The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too
wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair
spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then
he puts the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and
runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and
hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.”
The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your grandma.”
_____________________
Hehehe
~toj
Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire."
Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"
Boy says "Gonna catch some chickens."
Old man yells "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it. Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.
Old man yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape."
Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"
Boy says back "Gonna catch me some ducks."
Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!"
Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it. Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. Old man says "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
Boy says "It's a pussy willow.
Old man says "Wait up.... I'll get my hat."
_____________________
*"Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."
Jack thinks about it silently, then says, "Well, the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."
A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being painful. To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll and then returned to his pants.
His girlfriend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"
With his eyes watering, Jack replied, "Well, I guess so, but I don't think I can fit another roll up my a*s."
_____________________
*A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little
boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa,
I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”
The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too
wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair
spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then
he puts the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and
runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and
hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.”
The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your grandma.”
_____________________
Hehehe
~toj
Should be studying but heck
This is destress!
I personally love this
Phoon should see it :D
The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
This one's creative too (:
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?
The Englishman - throws the cup and walks away.
The American - takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.
The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.
The Japanese - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was
extra with no charge.
The Israeli - sells the coffee to the American, the fly to the
Chinese, and buys himself a new cup of coffee.
The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the violent act of
putting the fly in his coffee, asks the UN for aid, takes a loan from
the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to
purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the
Englishman, the American, the Chinese, the Japanese all try to
explain to the Israeli that he was too aggressive...:D
This is destress!
I personally love this
Phoon should see it :D
The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
This one's creative too (:
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?
The Englishman - throws the cup and walks away.
The American - takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.
The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.
The Japanese - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was
extra with no charge.
The Israeli - sells the coffee to the American, the fly to the
Chinese, and buys himself a new cup of coffee.
The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the violent act of
putting the fly in his coffee, asks the UN for aid, takes a loan from
the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to
purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the
Englishman, the American, the Chinese, the Japanese all try to
explain to the Israeli that he was too aggressive...:D
Haha uhh, im too lazy to post today.
Just a video post
Quite self-explanatory.
(:
Been spending time uploading stuff on fb and stuff, quite lazy to elab and give the background story :D
well, actions speak louder than words! (videos too)
This is the best of the lot :D
Hehe.
~toj
Just a video post
Quite self-explanatory.
(:
Been spending time uploading stuff on fb and stuff, quite lazy to elab and give the background story :D
well, actions speak louder than words! (videos too)
This is the best of the lot :D
Hehe.
~toj
Today, someone commented to me "eh toj, you're like the class press lah, whatever happens in class appears on your lj"
Well said (:
Now, on to fulfill my true destiny.
-.^ if my destiny was this sad, i'd kill myself.
Random delayed pics from Tuesday when we had PE.
Mok showing some of his love to Sien.
A well, literal "crush" (quote Sharmi Lisa) on Sien :D
The pictures kinda suck, coz well, my phone reso sucks ): so apologies.
More important is the pictures themselves, not the quality (:
And today, we had our first book-ripping session.
Like totally wtf -.-
But it was fun as hell, admittedly.
Remnants of the poor book ^^ :
Thrown about and messed around more:
Crowning glory; our attempts to clear it up (highly successful, if i may say):
Well, at least we tried.
Effort marks! ~
And the two champs posing for a photoshoot.
Seems to me like they always have appearances on my LJ.
Wonder why ^^
hehe.
Ohyeah, for all .15s who read this, do go to the 415classemail@gmail.com to check out the YMCA flag day thingie i put up (: Thanks!
~toj
Well said (:
Now, on to fulfill my true destiny.
-.^ if my destiny was this sad, i'd kill myself.
Random delayed pics from Tuesday when we had PE.
Mok showing some of his love to Sien.
A well, literal "crush" (quote Sharmi Lisa) on Sien :D
The pictures kinda suck, coz well, my phone reso sucks ): so apologies.
More important is the pictures themselves, not the quality (:
And today, we had our first book-ripping session.
Like totally wtf -.-
But it was fun as hell, admittedly.
Remnants of the poor book ^^ :
Thrown about and messed around more:Crowning glory; our attempts to clear it up (highly successful, if i may say):
Well, at least we tried.
Effort marks! ~
And the two champs posing for a photoshoot.
Seems to me like they always have appearances on my LJ.
Wonder why ^^
hehe.
Ohyeah, for all .15s who read this, do go to the 415classemail@gmail.com to check out the YMCA flag day thingie i put up (: Thanks!
~toj
uhh, for all who come here for class stuff, go to Hamzah's lj for the coin picking thingie.
I gotta admit, it's freaking hilarious.
Finally someone took the much-delayed video :D
Here's the link if you don't know it.
http://homonecrophile.livejournal.com/3
Won't be going to school for...awhile (:
Hehehe.
~toj
I gotta admit, it's freaking hilarious.
Finally someone took the much-delayed video :D
Here's the link if you don't know it.
http://homonecrophile.livejournal.com/3
Won't be going to school for...awhile (:
Hehehe.
~toj
Kelly (you never gain and keep) says:
*i know
*(H)
*cool
Toj ~ | Track Nationals says:
*-.-
*THATS SO PEARLENE
*haahha
Kelly (you never gain and keep) says:
*gasp
*i have my own identity1=!
Toj ~ | Track Nationals says:
*(H)<---THAT.
Kelly (you never gain and keep) says:
*do not liken me to incompetent beings!
(H) is the shortcut for the cool guy with shades emoticon
~toj
*i know
*(H)
*cool
Toj ~ | Track Nationals says:
*-.-
*THATS SO PEARLENE
*haahha
Kelly (you never gain and keep) says:
*gasp
*i have my own identity1=!
Toj ~ | Track Nationals says:
*(H)<---THAT.
Kelly (you never gain and keep) says:
*do not liken me to incompetent beings!
(H) is the shortcut for the cool guy with shades emoticon
~toj
♥andreasee says:
*are you a parking ticket
♥andreasee says:
*cause you have FINE writte all over you!
*HAHAHA
♥andreasee says:
*Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!
'Nother from the same person:
Are you an earthquake?
Cause you just rocked my world.
Bwahahaha, nothing better to end my day ^^
*are you a parking ticket
♥andreasee says:
*cause you have FINE writte all over you!
*HAHAHA
♥andreasee says:
*Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!
'Nother from the same person:
Are you an earthquake?
Cause you just rocked my world.
Bwahahaha, nothing better to end my day ^^
EVERYONE!
WATCH SAW!
FROM 1 ALL THE WAY TO 5!
SAW IS AWESOME!
PEACE OUT
~toj
no, im not crazy, Saw really is awesome.
